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EP.21 The 4 Truths You Need to Live Your Best Life, with Terry Tucker

In this episode, our guest is Terry Tucker. He was born and raised on the south side of Chicago and played college basketball at the Citadel in Charleston, South Carolina. Terry was the first person in his family to graduate from college. He found his first job in the marketing department at the corporate headquarters of Wendy's International, the hamburger chain. Today, Terry talks about shifting careers, major pivots in his life, business, first book, and many more!

 

Major Pivot

[5:32]

Terry was in his 40s at that point in time, and he thought he had the education, a master's degree, went to law school, got all this experience, so somehow put this together and started his own gig. Terry started a school security consulting business.

 

[6:19]

His daughter went to the Air Force Academy to play basketball. The coaches at her school were not that good. They didn't have the background and the experience. Terry happily volunteered to coach the team. He was able to ramp his business up in the offseason and then scale it back during the season when he could coach. It allowed Terry to do his own thing when he could do it.

 

Security Consulting Business

[7:34]

Terry took a while to think of what he wanted to call this, how he wanted to frame this, what skills he had that he could do, and what things he could do. It took six to eight months for him to figure out how he wanted to do it the way he wanted to do it.

 

Speaking Business

[10:17]

It started as a deeper dive into what Terry learned over these 10-plus years of dealing with cancer and his time in athletics. One of the important things he learned as part of a team is the importance of being part of something bigger than yourself. You realize on a team that if you don't do your job, not only do you let yourself down, but you let your teammates down, your coaches down, your fans down, etc.

 

[11:34]

The speaking gig is morphed into being a guest on people's podcasts. Terry has been a guest on probably 500 plus podcasts all around the world, talking to people about mindset, motivation, and the need to keep moving forward. It's just been a great opportunity for him to hone his message and help people along the way.

 

The 4 Truths

[12:56]

A lot of times, we're all about we got to develop goals, we've got to develop new year's resolutions, we got to develop all these things. According to Terry, the reason so many of our goals and New Year's resolutions fail, is that we don't tie them to our values. What do you stand for? What do you believe in your heart? If you can codify that, then start to attach goals to that.

 

4 Truths:

  1. You need to control your mind, or your mind will control you.
  2.  Embrace the pain and the difficulty that we all experience in life and use that pain and difficulty to make you a stronger and more resilient individual.
  3. The truth is what you leave behind is what you weave in other people's hearts.
  4. As long as you don't quit, you can never be defeated.

 

[14:33]

Terry uses them every day to make decisions on whether he’s going to do certain things, even when with his cancer treatment.

 

Control your mind so that it doesn't control you

[16:08]

We have 60 to 70,000 thoughts that pass through our minds every day, many of which we don't even pay attention to. But your brain can only hold one thought at a time. Why would you want to make that a negative thought?

[16:39]

Understand that you're going to have negative thoughts. It doesn't make you a bad person. We all have those thoughts in our minds. Recognize that thought, change it to something positive and beneficial to you, and then go on with your day. When you recognize another thought and change that thought into something more positive over time, your brain will start to expect those positive thoughts.

 

Embrace the pain and the difficulty

[18:34]

Our brains are hard-wired to avoid pain and discomfort and to seek pleasure. The way things are right now is comfortable and familiar and should just be left alone. But the only way you're going to grow, the only way you're going to get better, the only way you're going to improve is if you step outside your comfort zones and do things that make you uncomfortable.

 

[20:56]

Instead of running from pain, take that pain flipping inside of you, burn it as fuel, and use it as energy to make you a more resilient individual.

 

What you leave behind is what you weave in other people's hearts.

[22:53]

It's important for all of us, regardless of what stage of life we're in, whether we're just starting out, whether we're middle-aged, or whether we're coming to the end of the road, to think about the end game.

 

[24:05]

Terry heard a Native American Blackfoot proverb years ago that he loves. When you were born, you cried, and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries, and you rejoice.

 

As long as you don't quit, you can never be defeated

[25:30]

It's just one of those things where you're returning to the second truth: instead of running from pain, use it to make you stronger.

 

[26:22]

Emotional pain is worse for people than physical pain. Physical pain, you know what to expect. You can steal yourself and get ready for it. Emotional pain, that mindset that you know what, I don't think you can do this, you're not good enough. If there's something in your heart and your soul that you believe you're supposed to do it scares you, go ahead and do it. Because at the end of your life, the things you're going to regret will not be what you did. They're going to be the things you didn't do. And by then, it will be too late to go back and do it.

 

Sustainable Excellence: Ten Principles To Leading Your Uncommon And Extraordinary Life

[29:18]

It's a book from two conversations Terry had with a former player who moved with her fiance to Colorado. Terry remembers talking to her after dinner and saying, “I'm excited that you're living close, and I can watch you find and live your purpose.” She got quiet for a while. And she looked at me and said, "Well, Coach, what do you think my purpose is?” Terry said, “I have no idea what your purpose is. But that's what your life should be about, finding the reason you were put on the face of this earth and then living that reason.”

 

[29:51]

Then a young man reached out to Terry on social media who were in college, asking what he thought were the most important things that he should learn not just to be successful in his job or business but to be successful in life. Terry took time and eventually had these 10 thoughts, 10 ideas, and 10 principles. He sent the principles to them and I thought, he got a life story that fits underneath this principle, or he knows somebody whose life emulates it. During the three-month period where he had his leg amputated, while he was healing them before he started chemotherapy for the tumors in his lungs, he sat down at the computer every day and built real stories about real people underneath each of the principles. And that's how sustainable excellence came to be.

 

How do you create what you will in your life?

[33:56]

If those things are important in your life, physically write them out and put them somewhere.

 

Book Recommendation

[35:01]

It's called Legacy by James Kerr. And it's about the New Zealand national rugby team. One of the things Terry thought was amazing was when they're looking to bring a new player onto their team, the two things that they hire for are character and humility.

 

Connect with Terry Tucker at:

LinkedIn | Website | Instagram |

 

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